Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In Love with Life.

The day before surgery I went to pre-op and the nurse told me I would be getting my own hospital room and I could order food from the hospital "menu" all day everyday 24 hours a day through out my stay. So, I was really excited! The pre-op nurse made me feel like I would be staying in a 5 star hotel so I was ecstatic and could not wait to get my surgery! I felt like I was going on vacation!
My surgery was last Friday 1/21 at Baylor Plano. I arrived at Baylor at 6:00am with Ryan, my Mom, and Katy. The morning of surgery I was not sad at all but a tiny bit anxious. I kept thinking about the horror stories that other women have told me they went through when undergoing a mastectomy. The horrendous pain, the mutilation they felt their bodies were undergoing, and the battle they had in their minds with God pleading "why me". So, while I was laying in my tiny hospital bed under 5 blankets waiting to go back to surgery I was trying not to stress myself out or cry because I was about to undergo a crazy surgery. I said goodbye to Mom and Katy as they left the room while Ryan clinged on to my hand as the anesthesiologist came in to get the party started.I ordered me my 4 shots of vodka and began to feel like a million bucks. For some reason all the things I have heard from other women that the surgery of loosing both breast would be hard left my mind. I felt stress free, I was actually happy, and at peace. I said a prayer to myself and was at ease. I was happy because I was about to be saying goodbye, F-You, and so long to cancer! I knew there were angels all around me and God was smiling down on me. Before I was rolled away with the anesthesia kicking in, Ryan gave me a kiss and said he loved me... and then I woke up.
I was awake in recovery and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "I AM CANCER FREE"!!!! There was only one other person in the recovery room with me and when I yelled out "I AM CANCER FREE" he yelled back "PRAISE THE LORD YOU ARE CANCER FREE". So he and I both were happy campers :)
So, I stayed my 2 nights in the 5 star hospital room and ate non stop. I ate just about everything on the menu and some. I was in heaven. I do not remember much about the hospital stay because I pressed the morphine button about 400 times in one day but I do remember eating awesome food and if you ever have to get surgery, Baylor Plano is the BEST!!!
I also had and still have some fantastic pain medication and was and am still just happy as can be. I had my mom, Ryan, Deb and Katy in the hospital room to crack jokes and make me smile. I also had the best smelling hospital room because I received beautiful flowers from loved ones. The nurses I had were wonderful and kept me smiling the whole time. There was one nurse that told me "When you wake up call me and I will come give you your pain meds". Well, I did not wake up until it was too late and I woke up screaming in pain because I forgot to call her. But, she hurried and gave me meds FAST! She also sat on my little bed with me hugging me as I cried. So, I forgave her quickly because she treated me as if I were her own child in pain.
I was able to bring one nurse home with me. Nurse Ryan. Just kidding! Now, Ryan absolutely loves loves loves the car business but if he had to choose a second career he should be a nurse. He has been incredible, organized, and so wonderful to me during this whole cancer process. He has been by my side helping me with every single thing from the surgery. He has not complained once and is so amazing. He jumps out of bed at 3 am to give me my meds. He walks me slow through the house so I can stretch my legs, He wakes up in hte middle of the night just to say 'Maegan, do you need anything, are you okay" even though I am sound asleep, He makes sure I am 100% comfortable before he leaves to work, and ...I'm not going to go into details but just know, I have the perfect person to spend my life with:)

I am so thankful and blessed that this surgery was not hard for me. Of course I freaked myself out the weeks leading up to surgery, but shoot! I am so happy right now and have nothing to be scared of. I think I owe much of my happiness to the pain medication and of course the good lord above.
I have a great support system who is currently waiting on me every second of the day so that also makes it way easier for me as well. I get to lounge around my house in pj's all day and cut out wedding dresses and all things weddings from magazines to start my wedding planning. Deb has brought me by tons of wedding mags to keep me busy :) If I need some ice water I just yell "MOM" or if I need a new DVD put in I say "MaMa" and she comes smiling walking up. So I am grateful she is here to help. She also cleans and cooks! Woohoo! She is also having a blast on my ipad and mom if you try to sneak it home to FL when you leave, your in big trouble!
I have two really ugly drains sticking out the sides of my chest so I have to be careful with them and I cant lift anything. I have to treat myself like I am a fragile piece of fine china. I do not feel like I am mutilated or robbed of my breasts at all. I feel happy that there is no tumor in my breast and I am on the road to being healthy! I, Maegan Murr, am 25 years old and just kicked cancers ass! This has made me a stronger women, made me look at life differently, and always counting my blessings everyday. I am madly in love with life and ready to give my whole world to the one man (ryan) that has stood by me through one of the toughest times. I thank heavinly father for helping me be strong through cancer, along with this recovery process, and blessing me with Ryan.
I have an appointment with my Breast Surgeon Dr. Canavan on Thursday to see if there were any cancer cells in my breast tissue that was removed. Then that tells me if I have to get radiation. Sooo, keep me in your prayers that no radiation is needed :)
I am off to look at all my wedding mags and begin my wedding planning :)
Fight like a Girl!-


  1. That's my girl!!! Love ya! Heather 

  2. It is hard to know what to say. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I pray that your wedding is amazing but that the marriage is even better.

    blessings and hope,

  3. I'm sooooo happy for you Maegan!! You kicked cancer's ugly ass. I knew you would!!! You've got your whole life ahead of you now for you and your man Ryan to enjoy. You're such an inspiration to so many people out there. Whenever I'm having a bad day, all I have to do is read your blog & your positve attitude brings a smile to my face. You fought the fight and won! Your friend in Italy...Marc.