"Your results are in.... you have breast cancer."
What! What! What!... and then I started crying. Sitting on the table with just a lame robe on balling my eyes out. I have freaking breast cancer. Breast...cancer. "Take a deep breath Maegan." huuuuu and no, I cannot take a deep breath while I am crying. You try taking a deep breath while crying.
Even though I had the love of my life sitting 2 feet from me and Dr. Canavan sitting in front of me patting my leg, I felt all alone. I grabbed on to the cross on my necklace and just said a prayer. I had three amazing people in the room with me. Ryan, DR. C, and God. Then I just shrugged my shoulders and told Ryan and Dr. Canavan God has a plan for me. This is part of his plan. And no I did not say that calmly, I was still crying.
So I sit there and dry my eyes. Dr.C is telling me all this stuff about breast cancer and blah blah blah I do not remember one thing she said. The only thing I could think of was a neon light blinking in my head that says “YOU” “HAVE” “BREAST” “CANCER”.
I did not really have any questions. I really did not know anything about breast cancer. Being a woman I should probably have somewhat of an idea but no, I never thought of it. So the only question I had was if I were going to die? Dr.C said that is not a question to ask... but I am leaning towards... heck no! If I were once the best girl skimboarder on the gulf coast...I sure as heck can beat cancer! It may knock me on my toosh from time to time but I come from a woman who raised three children on her own who taught us all independence at a young age along with how to be strong in any situation you are faced with. If my brother can carry a injured 300 pound man miles and miles right after getting blown up by a bomb in war, I sure as hell can beat cancer.
This is my first blog. I do not know the first thing about writing blogs but I wanted to do this for my family and friends. I also want other women my age, older and younger, to know – You can get breast cancer at ANY age. And you can fight it at any age. The MOST important thing while going though this or any tribulation is that I know God is right there with me. Within the last week I have learned I have to have some hard core chemotherapy. I am going to loose my lovely thick locks. My wonderfully shaped eyebrows. And, my marvelous knuckle hair, hahaha. Just kidding, I don’t have knuckle hair but if I did it would be gone!
I am a little scared. I have a peaceful feeling in my heart that sooths my mind. Yeah this is going to be a hard journey but what helps is every doctor to nurse I have met has been extremely nice and genuinely caring. I also have the BEST support system. I have felt so much love and blessings from so many people that it is one of the best feelings to have. God has blessed me with amazing people in my life. Till next time…fight like a girl :)