Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I have Breast Cancer.

"Your results are in.... you have breast cancer."
What! What! What!... and then I started crying. Sitting on the table with just a lame robe on balling my eyes out. I have freaking breast cancer. Breast...cancer. "Take a deep breath Maegan." huuuuu and no, I cannot take a deep breath while I am crying. You try taking a deep breath while crying.
Even though I had the love of my life sitting 2 feet from me and Dr. Canavan sitting in front of me patting my leg, I felt all alone. I grabbed on to the cross on my necklace and just said a prayer. I had three amazing people in the room with me. Ryan, DR. C, and God. Then I just shrugged my shoulders and told Ryan and Dr. Canavan God has a plan for me. This is part of his plan. And no I did not say that calmly, I was still crying.
So I sit there and dry my eyes. Dr.C is telling me all this stuff about breast cancer and blah blah blah I do not remember one thing she said. The only thing I could think of was a neon light blinking in my head that says “YOU” “HAVE” “BREAST” “CANCER”.
I did not really have any questions. I really did not know anything about breast cancer. Being a woman I should probably have somewhat of an idea but no, I never thought of it. So the only question I had was if I were going to die? Dr.C said that is not a question to ask... but I am leaning towards... heck no! If I were once the best girl skimboarder on the gulf coast...I sure as heck can beat cancer! It may knock me on my toosh from time to time but I come from a woman who raised three children on her own who taught us all independence at a young age along with how to be strong in any situation you are faced with. If my brother can carry a injured 300 pound man miles and miles right after getting blown up by a bomb in war, I sure as hell can beat cancer.
This is my first blog. I do not know the first thing about writing blogs but I wanted to do this for my family and friends. I also want other women my age, older and younger, to know – You can get breast cancer at ANY age. And you can fight it at any age. The MOST important thing while going though this or any tribulation is that I know God is right there with me. Within the last week I have learned I have to have some hard core chemotherapy. I am going to loose my lovely thick locks. My wonderfully shaped eyebrows. And, my marvelous knuckle hair, hahaha. Just kidding, I don’t have knuckle hair but if I did it would be gone!
I am a little scared. I have a peaceful feeling in my heart that sooths my mind. Yeah this is going to be a hard journey but what helps is every doctor to nurse I have met has been extremely nice and genuinely caring. I also have the BEST support system. I have felt so much love and blessings from so many people that it is one of the best feelings to have. God has blessed me with amazing people in my life. Till next time…fight like a girl :)

11 comments:

  1. God will give you the strength to over come this battle and i def know your family will be there with you every step of the way.... I know all things will work out and you will get through this. Besides you wont have to worry about shaving for a while!!! I just kid. I like that "Fight like a girl"!!!!

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  2. Oh Maegan! You are strong!! You will get through this! I think keeping a blog will be a wonderful thing for you to do, for you and for others!! You are in our prayers!!!

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  3. Shocked....shocked .... my heart just sank! I can't believe this.. i thought your fb was hacked into or something until i read this blog... Maegan You are so wonderful & strong, nothing will keep you down! You're amazing.. Anything you need (fundraising, support, cookies, etc) let me know. You're in our prayers as well <3

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  4. Fight Like a Girl, huh!!! We all know when it gets down to it, we will come out swinging madly. Mike, Gabe and I will continuously pray for you. You got this! PUSH through like the CHAMPION you are. We love you!

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  5. Just another wave to conquer...We know you will beat this! We're here for you praying everyday!
    We love you,
    Chris, Colleen, Caz and Cash

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  6. Hi! My sister Aspen told me about you. First, I am so sorry. I know exactly what you are going through. I am 32, I run marathons and was in the best shape of my life. To get the news devastated me, but it has not taken my strength nor my resolve. It took me awhile to reach out to anyone besides my husband, but it helps to know what lies ahead. I am going through chemo right now and I am looking forward to this being over. It has not been as bad as I thought it would be. You are young,healthy,and strong just like me, it's a long road, but there is a light at the end. Please feel free to contact me. My sister has my phone and email. Heather

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  7. maegan.. u r so freakn pretty and stronger than ever. this blog has really inspired me and im beyond proud of you!!!!! u will survive this!!! ur amazing!!!!

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  8. Maegan ...can not believe the news. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong!

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  9. Maegan you amazing! Your going in this with the right attitude. Do not forget you are human, you are allowed to have pity party's on the bathroom floor, and you are allowed to cry all you want because we are right here crying with you reading your blogs. Not crying because we think we have lost you, crying because your story is touching! Can't wait to see what wigs you pick out! Keep your head up, god is watching!

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  10. Thanks for writing this blog! I'm in your same situation (age and diagnosis) the only difference is that I'm pregnant. I'm going to read through all of your posts and look for some inspiration with my own situation.

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  11. Just wanted to let you know that someone is sharing your image for "likes and prayers". https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1844648015861814&set=a.1383783078614979.1073741829.100009498998333&type=3&theater

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