Thursday, August 26, 2010


First off, everyone should own a juicer. Ryan and I recieved a juicer as a gift and let me tell you what, that bad boy can make some killer juices and smoothies. Thank you Deb and Rene.. we love it and it will help me stay healthy. Ryan is not a big veggie eater so we have made a pack that to every one cup I drink of veggies he has to match it. Which is easy for me because I will pretty much eat/drink anything. So get ready Ryan, you’re about to be healthy!!! Right now I am drinking myself a grapefruit, banana, kiwi, and mango puree. Yum.

I got my port put in my chest yesterday. What is a port you ask? Well let me just tell you… it is a gigantic spiky ball that is under my skin!!!!! That is what it s to me, but according to the “Port Advantage Book” it is a small (bull sh*t) device that is placed under the skin. It connects to a small tube called a catheter. Blah Blah Boring, it pretty much is for my chemo treatments. I can not have a IV every time because it will fry my veins so they had to put this port in. It is how they will give me my medicine.
Yesterday I was under the impression I was having day surgery. I am no wiz at medical terms but I thought day surgery meant in and out. So I was like “okay, I got this, I am going to go in at 4:30 am, get my port, then go to work.” Hale no that did not happen. This surgery was more like regular surgery. We rolled up to the hospital at 4:30 am, didn’t get back to surgery until 7:30am. Right before I was put under anesthesia Dr.Canavan came into my little room to say hello to me and let me know that my cancer is NOT genetic, that the lump in my left breast is NOT cancer (it’s a fibroid tumor) and she liked my socks. So, with this being said the anesthesiologist then came in and gave me two drops of “his margarita mix”. He told me to lay back and relax, because I was about to feel tipsy from my two margaritas. Well, FYI Doc, I hate (hate is a strong word and yes I do hate) margaritas and normally by 2 margaritas I will be hugging the toilet. He corrected himself and told me to lay back and relax because I was about to have two pineapple and vodkas. That was much better so I laid back and relaxed. As he and my nurse rolled me to the surgery room on my queen size bed I felt like I was a celebrity being rolled through the halls of the hospital. Everyone and their mom were staring at me on my queen sized bed. Then I remember waking up to EXTREME pain in my chest. The nurse said “rate your pain” I said “10”. Then I got a pump of morphine. I was like “Oooh hello who are you making me feel better” then she said again “Rate your pain” I replied “9” then “Oooh hello you again making me feel better!!” That went on for about 5 minutes until my pain was rated at a 5 and I was in complete bliss. Anyway, the port is in my chest and hurts like a mo-fo. Dr. C told me that it was not going to be noticeable. I guess she did not realize I have no meat on my chest area. It is poking out like you would not believe! I feel like I have a cat toy under my skin. Luckily, I have pain medication and phenergan for my nausea because I keep looking at it in the mirror and wanting to barf. I also can not shower for 2 days and can not wear a bra. So I am stuck inside. Oh well, time to catch up on DVR.

Dr. C told me that I did not get breast cancer from genetics. So, I am clueless as of how I got it. I am 25 years old… and healthy. Everything I have researched does not apply to me. Everything talks about being obese, not being breast fed, and radiation exposure. Since I have always been a tiny gal, enjoyed my momma's natural breast milk as a babe, and from what I know have not been exposed to radiation... I am lost.
I have always been physically fit, eat everything off the food pyramid and much more, I do not smoke, and not a big drinker. I do remember getting in trouble when I was little because I drank tap water out of the faucet in Mississippi. My mom said it was dirty water. Shoot, maybe that is how I got breast cancer? I have the slightest idea as to how I got this. In the end it does not really matter to me. Just as long as I get well and fight this cancer. If you are women and are reading this right now, go check your boobs because this can happen to anyone out there.. Everything happens for a reason. I am getting nervous about chemo but I have trust in the lord he will give me the strength to get through it. I also am using Ryan's iPad to watch movies during my 3 hour session so I realy have no complaints!!! :)
I would rather me have breast cancer than my little sister or my mom or anyone close to me. I would rather take it on and fight it then see someone I love so dearly go through this and suffer. I am fortunate to have an awesome boss who is letting me take time to get better and have great friends at work who are helping me while I am out. I am off to lay in bed with my cat toy sticking out of my chest till next time… fight like a girl!

1 comment:

  1. That's good that your genetic test came back negative, that means you don't have an 80 % of chance of reoccurence. My genetic test came back uncertain...i.e. they found a "change" in the gene but they don't know what it means. So I could be positive or negative. They might know in 10 years or something what "uncertain" means. At least you got a good definitive answer.

    The swelling from the port will go down, it's not unoticeable, but it won't stick out as far once it heals. The port is 100 times better than having an iv in your arm, trust me!

    At first I asked, why me too? And, like you, I have just accepted it. Sometimes I think that maybe we are being tested, being pushed to our limit, so that when we are needed to most we will be stronger.

    Keep your head up, there is always tomorrow :)