This Too Shall Pass

Ladies and Gentleman it is official. I am bald! Katy shaved my head. Since I just got my hair cut super short last Saturday I was going to wait about a week or 2 to actually shave it. Well, the day after I got it cut short, Katy and I were in Starbucks and I ran my hand through my peter pan hair and a chunk came out! I made a tiny "ahh" and then it was like a roller coaster affect. Katy screamed once she saw the chunk of hair in my hand and then the lady behind the counter screamed "WWHHAATT" because she had no clue what was going on. We freaked her out. At this moment, I knew in my heart I needed to get it over with and shave my head. I stood my ground in Starbucks and decided I needed to get to shavin! Sunday night we had a cookout at the house and after watching the Cowboys loose a few of Ryan's best friends were over and we all decided to shave our heads. Well, Ryan and I were going to for sure but the boys surprised me and shaved theirs too!! Ryan, Austin, Myles, Caleb, and Jon all shaved their heads with us!! One of our other friends Ben that was not able to make it to the house to shave his head with us shaved his at his house in Houston. Thank you guys so much for your support. This has been a hard time in both Ryan and my life and Ryan and I are truly blessed to have such good friends standing behind us. We love you guys :)

I of course went in the bathroom with my girl friends to shave my head because I knew I would get upset. So Katy shaved my head and Mandy and Taylor took pictures and cracked jokes to make it easier. For some reason I am not able to post the video but I will try soon. I really do not feel like a guy. I just feel like me with a new doo. It is actually quite nice because it takes me 5 min to take a shower. :) I have to wear a hoodie to bed because my little head gets so cold at night! I also have been walking around my yard bald and really do not care if the neighbors see. I mean, this is natural and it is all part of the process. My second Chemo treatment was Monday. I would have to say Monday night was one of the worst nights I have had. I am thinking this round of chemo is harder on me because I am not as healthy as I was the first treatment. I also have had this moto that since I have this horrible disease I am going to eat whatever and whenever and frankly my dear, I do not give a damn. Well, that moto is over because my eating habits have made me sicker as well. So I am now back to my normal healthy diet. I have always been well aware of what goes in my mouth. I have always been somewhat of a health nut but when I found out I had cancer I kind of took on this attitude of I do not care about stupid stuff like granola and I am going to eat french fries! Boy, I was wrong because eating a burger and fries after chemo was a wake up call of GET YOUR HEALTH BACK WOMAN!! I feel way different than I did the first treatment. This time I am weaker and way more sick as in throwing up and staying nauseous. The regimen I am on is called the "Red Devil" and holy cow the red devil is kicking my butt. I wish it was named something different because I do not like thinking I have the red devil in me. But, it seriously feels like something evil is in me when I am throwing up non stop for 5 hours and non stop nauseous. I can handle not being able to see from the steroids, my body in pain, mouth sores, and fatigue. But I can not handle throwing up for a long period of time. I laid on the cold bathroom floor just saying to myself "This too Shall Pass" and kept asking Jesus to keep me stay strong and help me through this for what felt like forever before calling the doctor to ask for help. Next time, I am calling him ASAP!! Ew, I can not even talk or think about it or even look at the pictures of Katy and I in the infusion room with us playing around having fun during chemo because it reminds me of getting sick that night. On Tuesday (yesterday) I had to go back to get my bone marrow shot and I also had to get a drip in my port for nausea and for dehydration. As of now, I am feeling better. I still feel the nausea but not as bad as I was Monday. I have 2 more treatments on the Red Devil then I have 4 treatments on Taxol. Taxol is supposed to be way better than the red devil. So I am excited for Taxol!!! Also, my tumor has shrank since my 2 chemo treatments!!! Okay I am off for now because looking at the computer makes me nauseous so till next time .. fight like a girl and thanks for reading :)

Here is the video of my head shaving. I really wanted to record this on video because I want other women out there that are going through the same thing as me to stay strong and stay positive. Of course it is hard but in the end when we all have our health back it is worth every single day of being sick. It is kinda lengthy so feel free to just fast forward.