Monday, November 1, 2010

5 down... 3 to go! AHHHH!


(My friend from High School, Amber Haas, drew this for me. She is AWESOME in general and a great artist!)
"The next 4 Treatments of Taxol will be a lot easier than the last treatments" -DR.K
Bologna!!! Heck No it's not! It is hard! I am on day 5 of this treatment and I am still in pain!
Day 1 of chemo and Day 2 after chemo I was so happy because I felt great! I was just a little tired and thinkin' woohoo awesome no worries!
Oooh man, I was way wrong because for the past 2 days I have been in the worst pain I have ever been in, in my 25 years of life.
A few things I have done that have caused similar pain to what I am in now:
I have been hit in the back of the head with many surfboards, fallen off a skimboard and injured my neck (I had to wear a neck brace, it was awesome) thrown off the trampoline into a palm tree and slide all the way down the tree (courtesy of the bro and his wrestling moves), fallen down a floor of stairs while holding a latter (because I am clumsy), AND fallen off a 2nd story balcony (because I am just dumb at times) you name the accident, I have been there. I am prone to getting myself hurt.
I am not being a drama queen or over exaggerating either... but these past few days I have had horrible muscle and joint pain, along with nausea/vomiting, and tingling in my fingers and toesies.
Basically, it feels like I just got hit in the face with a frying pan and beat with a ugly stick from my head to my toes. It is not a happy feeling at all. I guess this is what it feels like when you get beat up or hit by a car. I have been beat up by my sister with her tiny hands, a pillow, and tons of random bedroom obstacles thrown at me but never did she bring me this much pain as Taxol does. I have been hit by a car too. A parked car. I ran my bike and myslef into the car at, like, 35 mph. It hurt pretty bad. So, all that crazy talk about this treatment being easier was a fib! Dr. K really had me thinkin' I was going to be rockin and rollin for the next few months. Psshhh It is hard. Yesterday was the hardest by far. With a 100 temp, body aches, and nausea I was in misery all day. Luckily I had Ryan by my side all day to wake me up to eat and keep fluids in my body.
I just want this to end! December please hurry up and get here!!! I am so emotional right now because 1. I hate this and 2. I am not used to being unealthy and I get so sad that I have these crying spurts. Luckily, Ryan and Deb are the only 2 that have witnessed these crying spurts. Mom has heard them on the phone and just cusses at the cancer, telling the cancer who is boss. Mom knows whats up.
Sorry Deb and Ryan I am having weird crying spurts. But, Thank you for putting up with my crying. I know it may freak you out if I just start balling out of no where. Like if I am in mid bite of a juicy steak or just singing to Taylor Swift in the truck. But thank you for making me feel like it will be okay :) I love you guys.
I am still trying to be happy over here and remember the things I am thankful for. It is Novemember and the time of year we should give thanks. My mom always made us name at every Thanksgiving what we are thankful for. So,for starters- I am thankful I only have cancer. Life could be worse for me and I am blessed to have cancer, which I can overcome.
I am actually going to put up my Christmas Decorations early so it will make me think of DEC coming faster! My family is coming from FL to visit for Thanksgiving! So we are going to have a IsipMurrRadcliffWilson Thanksgiving! Yay!!
So on that note- That is my update and I am at home laying on the couch. I have a appt. today with Dr.Canavan to see how much my tumor has shrank and all that jazz. :)
Till next time...fight like a girl

2 comments:

  1. I love you maegan, stay strong, miss you sooo much haven't seen you in forever, I wish I could be there with you every second of every day helping you through this long journey. Love you sooo much have a great night! P.S you should grab all these blogs that you write daily and make a book or send them to me and I write a book for you. write back)

    ReplyDelete
  2. YOU KEEP CRYING AND CRY SOME MORE CAUSE THATS OK! I WORKED WITH RYAN AT TOYTOTA AND MEET YOU A COUPLE OF TIMES, TODAY I SAW YOU HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH THIS CANCER AND MY HEART SANK AND I REALLY FELT HORRIBLE THAT YOUR FACED WITH SUCH A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. I HOPE A LOT OF PEOPLE READ THIS CAUSE IT MAKES US ALL PRAY FOR YOU AND IT MAKES US ALL REALLY SAD, IT BRINGS US TO A PLACE EMOTIONALLY WHERE WE CAN BEG GOD TO HELP YOU. I WILL BE BEGGING GOD TO HELP YOUR BODY SO YOUR SOUL CAN LIVE ON! D.MOORE

    ReplyDelete