Monday, November 15, 2010

For the LOVE of food :)

Okay. So, since I have been on this new treatment of “Taxol” they have doubled my dose of steroids for the pain Taxol causes me. They have actually lowered my dose of Taxol because how much pain it brought to my last treatment. So, my treatment last week and my next 2 will be a lot easier!! Yay! If you are not aware of what steroids do to the bod please read:
1. Makes you eat everything in sight. Including wanting to literally drink soy sauce and eat a giant bag of Munchies.
2. Makes you want CARBS and SUGAR not carrots and veggies. Mmm cake.
3. Makes your vision even blurrier than what it was before. So, I really can’t see even with my glasses on.
4. Makes your want McDonalds and Chick Fil A. I mean like, eat a giant processed burger than mosey on over to Chick Fil A and continue on an eating binge. Yum! Ooh then guzzle it down with a giant Coke.

With all of this being said I am enjoying myself and never getting full! I am in heavin. The good thing about all of this steroid mess is that I am gaining weight. Which is not an easy subject for me to wrap my head around because I don’t want too pack on the pounds. It is good for me to be gaining weight right now because when my surgery comes I am going to be suckin down smoothies and not moving my arms. I am going to have to be hand fed. haha. Meaning, loosing weight. Ooh the roller coaster of cancer.

Good News! I can no longer feel my tumor! At all! It is going away!! Last time I went to the doctor and got a MRI (in OCT) it was 2.2 x 1.8cm. According to my own at home calculations… it is disappearing!! Thank you Heavenly Father!
I have 2 more rounds of chemo and then I am done! It is so hard to believe because it feels like December is never going to get here. But, I have to remember patience! Ryan’s family and I are going to Mexico to sit in the sun and have no worries at the end of December. In January I am scheduled for my Mastectomy. Then reconstruction soon after that! Once I get the mastectomy my surgeon will see if the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and if it has spread to more than 4 lymph nodes I will have to have radiation. I keep praying that it has not spread and radiation is not needed. Well, that is about it… My family is coming in for Thanksgiving and that is just what I need right now to help heal. I get pretty sad the days after chemo because my body hurts so bad. Some days I wish life was easier and chemo was over. Having my mom, brother, sister and law, and 2 nephews here will definitely lift my spirits! Unfortunately, my sister is not able to get off work so that is a giant bummer. Ryan and Deb need a break from my crying spurts. I know they do not mind me getting upset and crying about all this cancer but they do indeed need a break. I have to admit, The lord sure did put a perfect man on this earth for me. Ryan has been more than incredible through this whole experience. Rene and Deb y'all sure did raise a good man! And Deb I love you, thank you for making every step of this way easy for me. You do not understand how much your kindness means to me :)

Thanks for everyone’s love and support and thinking of me all the time. I am still getting cards in the mail, gifts, emails, and tons of love my way. Thank you so much for the prayers. Heavenly father is taking good care of me. Sometimes I get pretty sad just wishing this would be over and I could have my normal life back but I know that there are great things in store for me in the future and to be patient. I think positive and just remember, I only have cancer. I will be able to hear the words “You are cancer free”. Even with having cancer my life is still wonderful and I am extremely blessed. I have been taken very good care of by the good lord above, my amazing boyfriend, My wonderful TX family, my family in FL, and all my sweet friends. You guys have made this crazy journey for me easy and pretty dang comfortable. Well, my blogging days are about to be up! Just two more treatments and I am done with the blogging world :) That’s all folks… till next time, fight like a girl!

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