Wednesday, December 8, 2010

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

It’s December! December! I want to sing it from the rooftops! DECEMBER! One more chemo treatment for me and I am a free bird. I am so happy that I could cry! It’s hard to think about without getting all-emotional because I am not going to feel like poop anymore! I am going to have my health back and be free of pain!! I will be able to really feel what it is like to be a healthy 25 year old women! Heck yeah this is great!

But, I will go ahead and give you a little sneak peak into the life of Maegan Murr and tell you what I have been going through for the past 6 days… Well, I am on steroids so I eat like a maniac and love every second of it. BUT, the chemo makes my tongue feel swollen and my teeth feel like if I bite down they will break. It feels like I was kicked in the ribs, lower back, hips, shoulder blades, and chest. My eyelids and eyeballs hurt and... Okay, so you get it… every joint and muscle in my body is hurting. But, my friends, I am not nauseous and not barfing so I am happy! I may have horrible acid reflux, can’t sleep because the pain is horrendous, but I am not hanging by the toilet all night so I am one happy gal! And, my hair is growing back AND my eyebrows are beginning to fill back in!! Yay!

This 7th chemo treatment has been a little easier than the last 6 because I have not gone to the doctor once for problems! I have followed the rules this time and have taken it easy (No shopping and just being lazy on the couch) and have been drinking my water like a fish! The only part I have been a rebel on is stopping my steroids early. WHAT! Come on! You would too if you ate 4 bowls of sinigang and a GIANT bowl of rice! So, stopping the steroids has made my little ol’ body hurt even worse. But it is okay because I should be feeling better soon. So ya know what that means… onward and upward and taken my ibuprofen 800mg round the clock!

Aug 13, 2010 is the day I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Looking back on one of the stupidest day in History, (Sorry Katy I know it is your anniversary but that day really does bite) I think to myself, Damn, life is freakin nuts. One day I am a health nut working out, enjoying life, having no worries and the next day I am gobbling down carbs, having waves of hot flashes, and laying on the cold floor crying feuding with God asking why. Some days were easier than others and I asked God “why me” only a few times. There is not a reason why. It just happened. After Reading my scriptures and praying led me to the reason of: Shit happens. This stupid cancer is in my poor boob because it just is. God is not up in heaven laughing thinking “Ha-ha poor girl has to have cancer”. HE is saying “Maegan you can do this, you were put on this earth to be an example and through me anything is possible”. I mean ya know it bites to have cancer but God has held my hand and lifted me up this whole time. Without him, I would be mentally and physically sick.

Since the day I was diagnosed I see how I have changed. I feel like I have developed into a different person. One, I get to say “Hey, I have had cancer at 24, have you?” Two, I am patient and have slowed my life down. I see everything I should be thankful for and cherish all the people in my life. I take time to listen instead of rushing through conversations. When you feel like you are about to die, you just get this whole new outlook. One thing I am extremely grateful for is not worrying as much. I used to care so much what people thought of me. I was constantly worrying. Especially when it came to friendships and loved ones. It feels like weight has been lifted off my shoulders and life is easier. Taking one day at a time and taking time to breathe is great!
One more chemo treatment to go! December 16!
January 12 is my surgery to see if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes and January 17 is my mastectomy date. Then life just gets easier from there. Fight like a girl!

Oh! Check out these videos I did for work (Nana.. this is for you)!

Here is a link to pictures of when my family visited TX for Thanksgiving

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